Thursday, February 4, 2010

10 Things I Never Knew Until I Became a Mom

1. It's not all about me.

2. It is not only surprisingly un-repulsive, but actually quite natural to scrape the excess applesauce off my baby's chubby cheeks and then pop the spoon into my own mouth. Especially if this is the first meal I've had time for that day. Especially-especially if it's Gerber peaches instead of applesauce. (That's right...not my first rodeo.) Ditto for sandwich crusts and half-empty cartons of yogurt (YoBaby is best).

3. No matter where I go, there will always be that one random parent who exclaims in terror when my kid climbs precariously to the top of the jungle gym/tree/fence/scalable building. (And if it's you, you might as well know I'm rolling my eyes.)

4. There's no pain quite like that of stepping on a cast-off Bionicle arm with a bare foot in a dark hallway. While sleep deprived. And already angry at the world.

5. It's not all about me.

6. I can provide a full, balanced meal for five comprised entirely of Costco samples. (Which Toby calls 'examples'. Which makes sense to me...examples of what could be had for dinner, in other people's homes.)

7. The world is actually chock-full of hidden, horrifying dangers. At every turn. Threatening all I hold dear. Luckily, most days, I'm too tired to take much notice.

8. It's not all about me.

9. A single evening at the local county fair (where we have side-step puke and avoid drunken carnies) will cost my family upward of $200 (half of that in fried food and parking). And my kids will still be too short for the very most shoddily constructed rides. (Disneyland is cheaper.)

10. Astonishingly, it is not all about me.

(Inspired by this week's Writer's Workshop at Mama's Losing It)
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