Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Open Letter To...Tuesday

It's Tuesday, and I'm back as promised with another Open Letter. If you feel inspired to write your own, please link it in the comments, so we can all join in the fun!

Open Letter to the Almost-10-Year-Old Who Lives in This House

Dear Almost:

I know that you’re almost ten, and therefore know everything there is to know, but guess what? Not quite. For instance: the next time you decide to argue with your mother that the Dollar Store sells things for more than one dollar, how about not doing that right under the huge sign declaring EVERYTHING FOR ONE DOLLAR, m’kay? Excellent.

Also? I know your friends are, like, the coolest dudes ever, and like, you feel smarter just, like, being around them and stuff, but believe it or not, that attitude tends to annoy the others in this house who hold university degrees and jobs and the ability to articulate an entire sentence not containing the word ’like’. Like, not even once.

In conclusion, I’d like my nine-year-old back. He was sweet and polite and didn’t fall into an emo funk when told he could not grow his hair past his lovely blue eyes. He didn’t switch the TV on any old time he felt like it, deferred to the wisdom of his mother on all matters of retail pricing, and oh yeah, his friends were sweet and polite, too.

Sincerely,

The one toward whom you rolled your eyes. Once.

P.S. The internet-speak term ‘O.M.G.’ is not one you’re allowed to mumble under your breath as you walk out of the room. Believe it or not, your mother is familiar with the internet, and its native tongue.

P.P.S. I love you.
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