Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Wish You Were Here...

Toby’s carpool buddy is sick today, which means that A) I have to actually get dressed early to do the morning preschool run, and B) I will miss out on my tri-weekly dose of the Toby and Bennett comedy routine that I always thoroughly enjoy during the 11:30 am drive home. On Monday, it went something like this (and to set the scene, in my humble opinion, both these boys bear a striking resemblance to Heaven’s most idyllic cherubs…Bennett with the most gorgeous curly blonde hair ever, Toby with big eyes bluer than the ocean):

We’re driving in the car, the boys snugly buckled into their boosters in the back seat. We pass a tennis court.

Bennett: I’m great at tennis.
Toby (instantaneous response): I’m better.
Bennett: No!
Toby: How good are you?
Bennett: The best in the world.
(Long pause.)
Toby: Oh.

A few seconds later:
Toby: What’s your middle name?
Bennett: Thomas.
Toby: No, it’s not.
Bennett (righteous fury): Yes, it is!
Toby: It’s Banana-Boat.
Bennett: No!!
Toby: Yes, I renamed you.
Bennett (I can hear the worry edging into his voice): But you can’t!
I interject: Toby, you can’t.
Toby: (sulks)

I try to change the subject: What did you do in school today?
Toby: Make valentines.
Bennett: No, we didn’t.
Toby: I did.
Bennett: No, you didn‘t. You made a circle, for a bus.
Toby (indignant): No! It was a circle for a heart!
Bennett: That’s dumb.
Toby (deflated): Yeah. (rallies) So! (thinks) I have a Digimon.
Bennett: You don’t know what that is.
Toby (outcry): Yes I do!
Bennett: Well so do I and I have two.

It’s fascinating, watching genetically-wired male testosterone present itself in the form of a spitting contest at age 4. Granted, their exchange was clumsy and a bit poor on technique, but certainly juvenile enough. They’ve clearly picked up the finer points somewhere. Must be TV. Suuuure.

Anyway, the fact that I find the above amusing rather than alarming may indicate that I’m in need of a vacation. Not that I harbor any illusion that I’m getting one, mind you. But evidently, the fine people at the Walt Disney World Resort think I may have a shot at talking my spouse into one, as long as they ply me with enough incentive. They keep sending me these shiny advertisements with deals I can’t refuse. Except that, I have to refuse, or else we won’t be buying groceries for the next…does math…four months. Disney has obviously grossly overestimated our current financial prowess. I’m flattered. Really, I am.

This however, might be closer to my current budget:

Why is this gorgeous Mexican retreat in my budget, you ask? Because it’s free! Or rather, it will be, when I win Arrange Your Vacation‘s $500 giveaway. That’s right, I’m shamelessly advertising for a vacation home rental site on my blog in the one-in-some-big-number chance I’ll get the heck out of Dodge--for five days!--for my trouble. Pathetic, I know. But if Mickey’s playing dirty, so can I, right? The gloves are off.

But wait, there’s more! You, too, can enter. Go here! Read all about it. We’ll get adjoining rooms when we all win (kids in a separate condo, please).

But on the very slim chance we don’t win, I’m going to need to scrounge up some extra cash, because now I’ve gotten it into my head that I really need to go here, free or not. (These marketing execs, they know me so well!) My good friend (and not inconsequently, mother of the blond cherub) suggests we get jobs here. I’m game, but probably need to lose those extra few pounds (ok, fine…a full five pounds!) from Christmas first.

That way I‘ll look good in my coffee-pouring maid costume and my Mexican Riviera swimsuit.

See you all there!
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